There was a young man in Woods Hole 
               Who had an affair with a mole. 
                    Though a bit of a nancy 
                    He did like to fancy 
               Himself in a dominant role. 

Razors pains you,
Rivers are damp;
Acids stains you'
And drugs cause cramps.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses gives;
Gases smells awful,
You might as well live.

         ---Anon

Seven wise men with knoweldge so fine,

Created a pussy to their design.

First was a butcher, smart and with,

Using a knife, he gave it a slit.

Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,

Using a hammer and chissel, he gave it a hole.

Third was a tailor, tall and thin,

With a piece of red velvet, he lines it within.

Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,

With a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.

Fifth was a fisherman nasty as hell,

He threw in a fish, and gave it a smell.

Next came a pretcher whose name was McGee,

Touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.

Last came a biker, dirty little nut,

Sucked it and fucked it and called it a cunt.


Sent by Christine

The nipples of Sarah Strong,
When excited, are twelve inches long.
This embarrassed her lover
Who was pained to discover
She expected no less of his dong. 

There once was a man from Sutter,
Who used to jerk off in the gutter,
Till the tropical sun,
Played hell on his gun,
And turned all his cream into butter.