A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the 
radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The 
state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an 
empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, "Sir, have you 
been drinking?"

And the minister says, "Just water."

The sheriff says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

And the minister looks down at the bottle and says, "Good 
Lord, He's done it again!"

Her teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of 
balancing his new checking account.  "The bank returned the 
check you wrote to the sporting goods store," she said.

"Oh good," he said, "Now I can use it to buy some stereo
equipment!"

  gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only 1 4 legged stool left, how do they sit???

They turn it upsidedown.


Sent by GC

   
   This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny
   wearing a red firefighter's hat and sitting in a red wagon which is
   being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little
   closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the
   dog's testicles, which may explain why the dog is walking so slowly.
   Going up to the kid, he said,"That's a nice fire engine you got there,
   but I bet it would go faster if you have the rope around the dog's
   neck."
   "Yeah," the kid replied."But I wouldn't have a siren."

What do you do when an epilectic takes a bath? 

     Throw in your laundry.