There was this fisherman that always had a good day fishing.
   His friend, the game warden, couldn't figure out how he did
   it, so one day the game warden decided to go fishing with
   his friend. The fisherman took his friend the warden out
   to his favorite spot. Once there, the fisherman took a
   stick of dynamite out of his backpack, lit it, and threw
   it into the water. The dynamite exploded and a dozen fish
   floated to the top. The game warden said, "That's illegal,
   you can't do that."The fisherman goes, "Really?" He then
   lights another stick of dynamite and throws it into the water.
   The dynamite exploded, and a dozen more fish floated to the
   top. The game warden said, "Stop that now, and take this
   boat back to shore...I'm going to have to give you a citation
   and confiscate all your gear." The fisherman said,"Oh, really?"
   He then lights another stick of dynamite, throws it into
   the game warden's lap, and said "You gonna sit there and
   keep flapping your trap, or are you gonna fish?"
   

a quadruple amputee is waiting at the bus stop.The bus pulls up.Driver says
"alright John, how you getting on today?"

A couple of geezers were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home, having
a little chat.  "How are you, Tom?" asked Marvin.
"I'm not feeling well today - utterly exhausted," Tom replied. "I pulled a
muscle and it's killing me."
"That pulled muscle shouldn't make you so tired, though."
"Well, it does if you pull it a couple of hundred times...."

A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner.
The attorney asks, "Before you signed the
death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?" 
The coroner says, "No." 
The attorney then asks, "Did you listen for a heart beat?" 
"No." 
"So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken
any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?" 
The corner, now tired of the brow beating says, "Well, let me
put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my
desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law
somewhere." 

Have you heard about the new orgasm pill just approved by the FDA for women?
It comes with a 16 inch applicator