What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? One snatches watches and the other watches snatches!
How do you change a blonde's mind? Blow in her ear.
What sexual position makes an ugly baby? Ask your mom!
How do you change a blonde's mind? Buy her another beer.
What's the difference between a ritz cracker and a lesbian? One's a snack cracker, the other a crack snacker!