An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California when 
all of a sudden he gets cut off. He hollers, "Operator, giff me 
beck the party!"

She says, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to make the call all over 
again."

He says, "What do you want from my life? Giff me beck da 
party."

She says, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to place the call again."

He says, "Operator, ya know vat? Take da telephone and shove 
it in you-know-vere!" And he hangs up.

Two days later he opens the door and there are two big, 
strapping guys standing there who say, "We came to take your 
telephone out."

He says, "Vy?"

They say, "Because you insulted Operator 28 two days ago. 
But if you'd like to call up and apologize, we'll leave the 
telephone here."

He says, "Vait a minute, vat's da rush, vat's da hurry?" He goes 
to the telephone and dials. "Hello? Get me Operator 28. Hello, 
Operator28? Remember me? Two days ago I insulted you? I 
told you to take da telephone and shove it in you-know-vere?"

She says, "Yes?"

He says, "Vell, get ready -- dey're bringin' it to ya!"

At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 women:

Defendant: "Your Honor, I wish to change my plea."

Judge: "Is someone using undue influence to prompt you to 
change your mind?"

Defendant: "No sir, when I pleaded Not Guilty I didn't know 
there would be women on the jury. Since I can't even fool my 
wife, I'll never be able to fool the four women jurors."

How do you know Monica Lewinsky is Jewish?
If she wasn't,she wouldn't have stained her dress.

"...And the halftime score here at the Colleusium is Lions 7,
Christians Nothing. We'll be right back after these messages..." 

What is the Definition of Agony? 

    Pamela Anderson says to you "I'll fuck you for a week non stop
    for one dollar and you have only got 95 cents!