In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep
   with President Clinton?" 86% replied, "Not again"

This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend
"I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy
a horse, I'm sending him over."
The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or
female horse.
"A female horth," the midget replies.
So the owner shows him one.
"Nith looking horth, can I see thea her mouth?" 
So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse s mouth.
"Nith mouth. Can I see her eyesth?"
So the owner picks up the midget and shows the eyes.
"Ok, what about the earsth?"
Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midget one
more time and shows the ears.
"OK, finally, I d like to see her twat," said the midget.
With that, the owner picked up the midget and shoved his head up
the horse's twat, then pulled him out.
Shaking his head, the midget says, "perhapth I should rephrase.
I'd like to see her run!" 

A man stops by a diner at noon, the busiest time of day, sits down 
at the counter and asks for a cup of coffee.   The waitress, who is 
very busy, gives him his coffee and rushes off to help the numerous 
customers having lunch at the diner.   The man, who uses both 
creamer and sugar in his coffee, notices that the container is empty.  
As the waitress rushes by, he asks her to bring him cream and sugar 
for his coffee.  The waitress, busier than she can ever remember being 
before, rushes to the back to pick up more orders.   As she passes the 
cabinet where the extra sugar and cream are kept, she sets a plate down 
and puts sugar cubes and creamer packets in her bosom because both 
her hands are full.   After she has served the two plates she was holding, 
she returns to the man and asks him, "How many sugar cubes did you 
want in your coffee?" 

The man says, "Two's fine." 

She reaches into her bra, pulls out two sugar cubes and drops them 
into his cup.  "And cream?" she asks. 

The man looks at her, squarely in the eye and says, 
"You wouldn't dare!"

     How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? 

     Seven...one to mix the batter and six to peel the M&Ms. 

What's a man's idea of foreplay? 

     -A half-hour of begging.