Allen was in a store that was playing Steve Miller's "Jet Liner".  
He said there was some kid next to him that had the lyrics
completely screwed up and was singing, "Big Old Rat Had A
Light On . . ."

Heather works with a Russian gent who is trying to learn 
the idiomatic phrases of English.  At the end of the workday
another worker always comes in the office and asks if there's 
anything they can do for us before they leave.  A girl jokingly
said once, "Yeah, you can go to the bathroom for me."  The
next day, the Russian gent (trying to fit in) decided to answer
"can we do something for you before we leave?" and he said,
"Yes, take my dick to the bathroom."

Harlan says there's a Judi who works at his place:  Our 
receptionist, (yes, she is a blonde), often takes orders to call 
out for pizza on nights we work late. One night, after placing an 
order for two pizza's from around the corner, we asked her how 
long it would be. She said she was told 40 minutes. When we 
commented to her that we thought that was a long time, she 
responded "that seems about right, it takes 20 minutes to cook 
a pizza and we ordered 2 of them".