Listen about that guy who was pulled over for running a
stop sign.  When the cop checked the man's driver's license,
he said, "You're wearing glasses on your ID and you're not 
now.  I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that."  The guy 
said, "Officer, I have *contacts*."  The cop said, "Look, buddy, 
I don't care *who* you know -- I'm giving you a ticket."

Starting off with Edward who works at
a Wal-Mart.  One day an older gent asked him, "Where are
Depends?"  I took him over to the adult incontinence under-
garments and then his face turned red with embarassment.
"No," he said, and took an ink pen out of his pocket.  
"I want da pens."

Alan tells me about his son and his son's new under-
wear with superheroes on it.  One morning he comes running
into the bedroom, grabs the front of his pants and annouces
proudly, "Ive got Superman in my pants, Daddy.  What have
you got in yours?"  Before checking, I turned to my wife,
"Well, how should I answer him?"  She was too busy laughing.