Some real headlines

"Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Times in 10 Years"
"Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One"
"War Dims Hope for Peace"
"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While"
"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"
"Deer Kill 17,000"
"Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"
"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"
"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
"Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge"

Two members of the Lothian and Borders traffic police were out on
the Berwickshire moors with a radar gun recently, happily engaged
in apprehending speeding motorists, when their equipment suddenly
locked-up completely with an unexpected reading of well over
300 mph. The mystery was explained seconds later as a low flying
Harrier hurtled over their heads. The boys in blue, upset at the damage
to their radar gun, put in a complaint to the RAF, but were somewhat
chastened when the RAF pointed out that the damage might well have
been more severe. The Harrier's target-seeker had locked on to the
'enemy' radar and triggered an automatic retaliatory air-to-surface missile
attack. Luckily(?) the Harrier was operating unarmed. 

I was about 12, and I was riding my bike in my neighborhood.
It was a little dark outside so I looked up, and in the sky
was a little white light, I thought it was the first star in
the sky, so I stared at it and made a wish, well as I was
making the wish I ran right into a parked car! I flew off my
bike onto the car, half way, and before the people could come
out and see who I was I ran with my bike crying the whole way
home, just to look up in the sky as I got to my door and
realized that the star was not a star after all it was a plane,
I failed to see the little red light too.

sent by Kristina