My husband and I are either going to buy a dog,
or have a child. We can't decide to ruin our
carpet, or ruin our lives. 

    - Rita Rudner

I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job. 

    - Roseanne

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends
told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do
anything that feels GOOD for 36 hours. 

    - Rita Rudner

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you
hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. 

    - Erica Jong

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes, because
I know I'm not dumb...and I also know that I'm not blonde. 

    - Dolly Parton