An airplane takes off from the airport. The Captain is Jewish and the First Officer is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and it's obvious, by the silence, that they don't get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain mutters: "I don't like Chinese." The First Officer replies: "Oooooh, no like Chinese? Why dat?" "Your people bombed Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese." "Nooooo, noooo, Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah. That Japanese, not Chinese." "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... it doesn't matter, you're all alike." Another thirty minutes of silence. Finally, the First Officer says: "No like Jew." "Why not? Why don't you like Jews?" "Jews sink Titanic." "The Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg." "Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, Spielberg; no mattah ... all da same." Sent by Renata
What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold? Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.
What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth? It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.
"How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man's broken leg. "Well, doc, 25 years ago..." "Never mind the past! Tell me how you broke your leg this morning." "Like I was saying... 25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I'd gone to bed, the farmer's beautiful daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted. I said, "No, everything is fine." "Are you sure?" she asked. "I'm sure," I said. "Isn't there anything I can do for you???" she wanted to know. "I reckon not," I replied. "Excuse me," said the doctor, "What the hell does this story have to do with your broken leg?!?!?" "Well, this morning," the farmhand explained, "when it dawned on me what she meant, I fell off the roof!"
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F and G are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for... It is about time you became informed! {A} - Almost Boobs... {B} - Barely there. {C} - Can't Complain! {D} - Damn! {DD} - Double damn! {E} - Enormous! {G} - GEEEEzus Christ! {F} - Fake.
