The other day, while I was seeing my shrink, he asked me what 
I looked for in a woman.

Naturally I replied, "Big tits."

He said, "No, I meant for a serious relationship."

So I said, "Oh, seriously big tits."

"No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you 
want to spend the rest of your life with?"

He looked at me kind of worried as I just sat there on his couch 
laughing until my gut hurt. "Spend the rest of my life with one 
woman? No woman's tits are that big."

I was just visiting some friends who have a real working farm. I 
was watching this one rooster chasing after this hen, when the 
friend's wife came out to feed them. The rooster stopped 
chasing the hen at once and ran over to begin eating. I stood 
there thinking to myself, "Damn ! I hope I never get that 
hungry."

While my wife and I were shopping at a mall kiosk, a shapely young
woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes followed.
Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife asked,
"Was it worth the trouble you're in?"