When my husband and I were living in Memphis we ordered Duck
Breast from the local 5 star restaurant.  I like my duck
cooked rare, so I inquired, 'would that be rare duck?' The
waiter replied, 'No, it's just a regular  old duck -- local,
I think.'



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1 


I'd locked myself out of my car.  I watched the locksmith
work with that wire that slides under the window and then
pushes up the lock.  I asked him, 'that goes under the
window, huh?  What do you do if the window is down?'
I swear, sometimes I embarrass myself.





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2 


Rachel's blonde roommate had to make an emergency phone 
call to home and her pre-paid calling card had expired.  "I 
suggested she call collect.  She picked up the phone, looked 
at me bewildered, and asked, 'What's the number to 1-800-
COLLECT?'"



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3