"My wife just got pregnant ... She took seriously what was poked at her in fun!" Send this quote to a friend 1 Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very excited, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur. - Jerry Seinfeld Send this quote to a friend 2 If the President were a woman, this scandal never would have happened, because women always keep a box of kleenex on their desks. - Patrice North-Rudin Send this quote to a friend 3 Love is a many-splendored thing. Until you have to explain to 300 million people why your splendor "by-product" is causing a tax hike to cover the new Presidential Emergency Dry-Cleaning Fund. Then it's just a pain in the ass. - Alisa Meadows Send this quote to a friend 4 According to a new survey 60% of adults say they're aware of someone who's gone to work under the influence of drugs. Apparently the other 40% have never heard of the Dallas Cowboys. - Conan O'Brien Send this quote to a friend 5