There was a young man of Soho 
            Whose tastes were exceedingly low. 
                He said to his mother, 
                "Let us suck one another, 
            And swallow the seminal flow." 



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1 


There was an old lady who lay 
            With her legs wide apart in the hay, 
                Then calling the ploughman, 
                She said, "Do it now, man! 
            Don't wait till your hair has turned gray." 



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2 


"At a seance," said a young man named Post, 
            "I was being sucked off by a ghost; 
                Someone switched on the lights 
                And there in guaze tights, 
            On his knees, was Tobias mine host."



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3 


There was a young lady from Munich 
            Who was had in a park by a eunuch. 
                In a moment of passion 
                He shot her a ration 
            From a squirt-gun concealed 'neath his tunic. 




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4 


There once was a fellow named Trete 
Who from birth was inclined to be neat. 
He became extra fussy 
When he thought his pants mussy, 
And would throw them away in the street. 



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5