There was a young fellow from Wark, Who, when he screws, has to bark. His wife is a bitch, With a terrible itch, So the town never sleeps after dark. Send this poem to a friend 1 Here was a young man of Cape Horn, Who wished he had never been born. And he wouldn't have been, If his father had seen That the end of the rubber was torn. Send this poem to a friend 2 A cowhand way out in Seattle Had a dooflicker flat as a paddle. He said, "No, I can't fuck A lamb or a duck, But golly! it just fits the cattle." Send this poem to a friend 3 There was a gay parson of Tooting Whose roe he was frequently shooting, Till he married a lass With a face like my ass, And a cunt you could put a top-boot in. Send this poem to a friend 4 Thank God for the Duchess of Gloucester, She obliges all who accost her. She welcomes the prick Of Tom, Harry, or Dick, Or Baldwin, or even Lord Astor. Send this poem to a friend 5