What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team?      

They drowned in Spring Training.



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1 


Some professions

A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl 
enters the room.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked 
children.
A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you 
the time.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that 
you will look forward to the trip.





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2 


And Jesus said unto his disciples, "Whom do men say 
that I am?"

And His disciples answered unto Him, "Master, 
thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation 
of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority, the absolute, 
divine, sacerdotal monarch."

And Jesus said, "What?"



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3 


Q: Why should we feel bad for the gay homeless population?

A: None of them have closets to come out of.



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4 


The 'Kentucky Fried Chicken' franchise has a new Bucket
of Chicken out. It's called the 'Hillary Clinton Bucket.'
It contains two small breasts and two large thighs.



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5