BOSSES & TECHNOLOGY

Boss:  "My laptop computer is locked up.  Can you help?"
Dilbert:  "Remember you have to hold it upside down and shake it to
reboot."
Boss:  "Oh, that's right."
Wally:  "I wonder if he'll ever realise we gave him an "Etch-A-Sketch."

One doc operated on a person for a hernia. He opened his testis and took 
the balls out and kept it on the table. At the end of the operation he 
wanted to put his balls back into the pouch of testis. He searched 
operation theatre but could not find the balls of the patient. Lastly he 
told nurse to get two small onions from his lunch box as he cannot keep 
his testis pouch empty.
After that operation he met the same patient in a garden for morning walk.
Being a good doc, he asked his patient how he is feeling now.
He said "Doc everything is fine, life is very cool except that whenever I
scratch my balls, my eyes start watering."

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to
purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a
television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I 
asked.
"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I
figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."

What do you call a prostitute with her hand down her skirt?

Self-employed

 Nuns at a church wanted to watch TV. The first one said she wanted to
watch the INDY 500. The second one wanted to watch the sexy Shawn Michels
on WWF. The third nun said she wanted to watch the knitting channel so she
can knit some mittens for the kitchen. The fourth nun said she wanted to
watch the discovery channel on how a baby is born. After some dicussion,
they all decided to flip channels every 2 seconds so they can watch the
same things.
This is what is sounded like:
And they're off! They're on top of each other! In...Out...In...Out...and
yes, the baby is born!