Q:  Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved
    in the voodoo or occult?
A:  We both do.
Q:  Voodoo?
A:  We do.
Q:  You do?
A:  Yes, voodoo.



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1 


Q:  What is your date of birth?
A:  July fifteenth.
Q:  What year?
A:  Every year.



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2 


Paddy gets a phone call from Murphy.  "Paddy," says Murphy, "I've got a 
problem."
"What's the matter?" replies Paddy
"Oi've bought a jigsaw and it's too hard.  None of the pieces fit 
together, and I can't find any edges."
"What's the picture of?" asks Paddy
"It's of a big cockerel," Murphy replies.
Paddy says, "Alroight, Murphy, Oi'll come over and have a look."
He gets to Murphy's house and Murphy opens the door.  "Oh thanks for 
coming Paddy."  He leads Paddy into the kitchen and shows him the jigsaw 
on the kitchen table.
Paddy looks at the jigsaw, then turns to Murphy and says, "For God's sake 
Murphy, put the cornflakes back in the packet."



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3 


A woman recently lost her husband.  She had him cremated and brought his
ashes home.  Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on
the counter.
Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes,
she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?"
She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"
She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?"
She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember that
BlowJob I promised you?  Here it comes..."



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4 


A man goes into a doctor's office and says "Doctor! Doctor! I have five
penises!"
The doctor says,"Good lord! How do your pants fit?"
The man replies, "Like a glove."



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5