A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold." At
this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, "How come you
called God 'Harold?'
The little boy looked up and said, "That's His name. You know,
"Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name."

Did you know that it costs forty-thousand dollars a year to house each
prisoner? Jeez, for forty-thousand bucks a piece I'll take a few
prisoners into my house. I live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on
the windows. I don't think we should give free room and board to
criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a
treadmill and generate electricity. And if they don't want to run, they
can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator. 

Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, N. J.,
in September, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, by a
quarter-stick of dynamite that blew up in their car. While
driving around at 2a.m., the bored couple lit the dynamite
and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen,
but they apparently failed to notice that the window was closed.