In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of 
the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have 
a baby, they got the consent of the King and the King gave them placard 
that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had 
F. U. C. K. on it (Fornication Under Consent of the King).

Heard from a tourbus driver in Washington DC earlier today: 
 
        Had you heard that Socks the Cat died last night?
 
        Yeah, he climbed into bed between Bill and Hillary 
        and froze to death.

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one 
exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in 
places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."