A young woman was doing some business at Marshall University and
parked in an area clearly marked "no parking."
After taking care of business, she returned to her car to find a
campus security guard writing her a ticket.
"Why are you giving me a ticket?" she asked.
"You're not allowed to park here," the guard said.  "See that sign?
It says 'Fine for Parking Here.'"
"Well," said the violator, "I thought it was a fine place to park."
The guard began to laugh.  The more he thought about it, the harder
he laughed.
He tore up the ticket and waved the woman on her way.

I woke up a little early the other day 
and decided to go take a shower. 
My wife woke up and said rather lustily, 
"Honey, are you in a hurry to get to work?"  
"No, not really." 
"Then will you scub the shower before 
you get in it?" 

Sent by Michael

SIGN INSIDE OF LIFEBOAT:

        "Some wetness is normal.  If submersion occurs, move arms
        in a swimming motion."