There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning!

"Keeping UUCP running is starting to seem a lot like keeping a 130-year-old
 man who smokes 4 packs a day on life support because he's the last person
 on Earth who knows how to do the cha-cha, but he won't tell anyone."

-- Ryan Tucker, alt.sysadmin.recovery

"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success."
                        -- from the sig of Malcom Herbert

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you
   least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of
   your unit.
   -- In the August 1993 issue, page 9, of PS magazine, the Army's
   magazine of preventive maintenance

Virginity can be cured.