Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. 

One of the most wonderful things about life is that we must regularly
stop what we are doing and devote our attention to eating.

                                                    -- Samuel Johnson

There was a young girl of Antietam
Who liked horse turds so well she could eat 'em.
She'd lie on their rumps,
And swallow the lumps,
As fast as the beasts could excrete 'em.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

You know, medicine is not an exact science, but we are learning
all the time. Why, just fifty years ago they thought a disease
like your daughter's was caused by demonic possession or witchcraft.
But nowadays, we know that Isabelle is suffereing from an imbalance
of bodily humors, perhaps caused by a toad or a small dwarf living
in her stomach. 

     - Theodoric of York, Saturday Night Live