Fool

I just got finished testing in school.
Now taking a nap I start to drool.
It drips off my chin
As my dreams begin.
My peers laugh; I feel like a fool!

A clever inventor named Krupp 
            Wore a belt when he wanted to tup. 
                His mighty dry cells 
                Made her tits buzz like bells, 
            And lighted the hall-entrance up. 

               A fellow who lives in St. Paul 
               Has one hexadronical ball. 
                    The cube of its weight, 
                    Plus his penis, times eight 
               Is his phone number; give him a call. 

A whore grown too old to get laid 
               Turned parfumeuse, finding it paid 
                    To concoct Fleur de Floozie 
                    From the juice of her coosie 
               (Substantial discount to the trade). 

                    The Ballad of the Bobbit Hillbillies
                                      
               (Sing to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies)
     
   
Here's a little story of a man named John
a poor ex-marine (with a little fraction gone).
It seems one night after gettin' with the wife.
She lopped of his schlong with the swipe of a knife.
        (Penis that is)
        (Rodeoed. Fillet-io-ed)

Well the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side,
and Lorena's in the car takin Willie for a ride.
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend,
so she tossed him out the window as she rounded out a bend.
        (Curve that is)
        (Pricker shrubs, wheel hubs)

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack,
and they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back.
They sniffed and they barked, then they pointed "over there"
To John Wayne's Henry that was wavin' in the air.
        (Found that is)
        (By a fence, evidence)

Now peter and John couldn't stay apart too long,
So a dick-doc said "Hey! I can fix your dong."
"A needle and a thread's just the thing you're gonna need."
Then the world held it's breath 'till they heard that Johnny peed.
        (Wizzed that is)
        (Stitched seam, straight stream)

Well he healed and he hardened, and he took his case to court,
With a cock-eyed lawyer (since his assets came up short)
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape,
And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape!
        (Video that is)
        (Unexposed, case closed)