There was a young fellow named Rummy
Who delighted in whipping his dummy.
He played pocket pool
With his happy old tool
Till his shorts and his pants were all cummy 

               A geologist named Dr. Robb 
               Was perturbed by his thingamabob, 
                    So he took up his pick 
                    And whanged off his wick, 
               And calmly went on with his job. 

There was a young girl, very sweet,
Who thought sailors' meat quite a treat.
When she sat on their lap,
She unbuttoned their flap
And always had plenty to eat.

Said an old lady called Mary Tabott,
"I wish I had teeth in my twat.
For just think" said she,
"how nice it would be
To keep all the pricks that I got." 

There was a young fellow from Wark, 
                                        Who, when he screws, has to bark. 
                                                      His wife is a bitch, 
                                                      With a terrible itch, 
                                        So the town never sleeps after dark.