An indolent vicar of Bray 
            Kept his wife in the family way, 
                Till she grew more alert, 
                Bought a vaginal squirt, 
            And said to her spuose, "Let us spray!" 

               There was a young lady of Andover, 
               And the boys used to ask her to hand over 
                    Her sexual favor, 
                    Which she did (may God save her!) 
               For her morals she had no command over. 

There was a young vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were very unstable.
One night by the moon,
She pulled out a spoon
And drank herself under the table. 

He was great in the Christmas Cantata,
He could double-stop fart The Toccata,
He'd boom from his ass
Bach's B-Minor Mass,
And in counterpoint, La Traviata. 

There was a young fellow named Price 
Who dabbled in all sorts of vice. 
He had virgins and boys 
And mechanical toys, 
And on Mondays... he meddled with mice