"If the skirts got any shorter"
said the typist with a blush...
"There'd be two more lips to powder
and lots more hair to brush!"

An erotic neurotic named Syd
               Got his Ego confused with his Id. 
                    His errant libido 
                    Was like a torpedo, 
               And that's why he done what he did. 

               While spending the winter at Pau 
               Lady Pamela forgot to say "No." 
                    So the head-porter made her 
                    The second-cook laid her; 
               The waiters were all hanging low. 

               There was a young man of the Tweed 
               Who sucked his wife's arse thro' a reed. 
                    When she had diarrhoea 
                    He'd let none come near, 
               For fear they should poach on his feed. 

There was a sailor from Brighton 
               Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one." 
                    She replied, "Bless my soul, 
                    You're in the wrong hole! 
               There's plenty of room in the right one!"