Yeah, fat broads are like mopeds. They're fun to ride,
   but you don't want your friends to see you on one.
   

Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. 

     Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman. 

This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a
sign "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry."  "Hans Olaffsen?", he thinks. "How in
the world does that fit in here?"

So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting
in the corner.  The visitor asks, "How in the world did this place
get a name like Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?"

The old man answers "Is name of owner."

The visitor asks "Well, who is the owner?"

"I am he," answers the old man.

"You?  How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"

The old man replies, "Many years ago when I come to this country, I
was standing in line at Documentation Center.  Man in front of me
was big blonde Swede.  Lady look at him and go, "What your name?" He
say, " Hans Olaffsen."  She look at me say, "What your name?"  I say,
"Sam Ting."

Guess what? You're pregnant! 

What are the three words you don't want to hear while making love?

"Honey, I'm home!"