What's better than winning a gold medal at the Para-Olympics? Having arms and legs.
Are computers males or females? You decide. TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE: 5. They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment. 4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you've established a network connection. 3. They'll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't do more than they have to and they won't think of it on their own. 2. They're typically obsolete within five years and need to be traded in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've already invested so much in the damn machine that they're compelled to remain with an under powered system. 1. They get hot when you turn them on, and that's the only time you have their attention. FIVE REASONS COMPUTERS MUST BE FEMALE: 5. No one but their creator understands their logic. 4. Even the smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference. 3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 2. The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you." 1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.\
An Indian gentleman on his first visit to the USA visited the foreign exchange to exchange some Rupees. He handed to the cashier 100,000Rps and after a quick calculation on the calculator, was given $50.45 with a typical "service" smile and "Have a nice day!" The Indian promptly spent this and returned the next day with another wad of Rupees. He handed the same cashier 100,000Rps and put his hand out for his $50.45, instead he received $48.78. He questiond bitterly Ooh! vy less !!??" Whereupon the cashier replied "Fluctuations!" He screamed back "FLUCK YOU AMERICANS, TOO!" I'm going back to Delhi!!!
On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. "Oh, oh, aaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture." Puzzled she asks, "my picture?" He answers, "yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever." She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At that the man opens his robe and she exclaimes, "oh, oh, my, let me get a picture." He beams and asks, "why?" She answers, "so I can get it enlarged!"
