Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and
   good-looking?
A: Because they already have boyfriends!

What's the difference between a homeless and a pizza? 

    A pizza can feed a family of four. 

What are the three words you don't want to hear while making love?

"Honey, I'm home!" 

Why did God create man first? 

     So he wouldn't have to be told how to do it.

Lunching with English friends at the time of her husbands reverement,
Madame de Gaulle was asked what she was looking forward to in the
years ahead.
"A penis." she replied without hesitation. The embarrassed silence that
followed was broken by the former President.
"My dear, I don't think that the English pronounce the word like that,
it is 'appiness'"