Beginning next year, Santa Clara County's jails will ban 
cigarettes, stop handing out sugar and begin charging for 
coffee. Prison officials are also contemplating a complete end 
to bed turn-down / chocolate mint service and expect to slash 
the concierge's hours in half.

U.S. Lawmaker Says He Is Worried About E-Mail Pregnancy

Citing the case of a woman who claims she got pregnant from
e-mail, an Ohio Democrat called Wednesday for a "chastity
chip" for the Internet. Rep. James Traficant, known for his
flamboyant rhetoric, gave a brief floor speech about a woman
named Frances who claimed to have gotten pregnant through an
e-mail exchange with a paramour 1,500 miles away. "That's right
-- pregnant," he proclaimed, warning of the dangers of
"immaculate reception." He called on Congress to go beyond
"v-chips" that would protect kids from sexual content on the
Internet, saying, "Its time for Congress to act. The computers
do not need a v-chip. The Internet needs a chastity chip." 

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt 
down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and 
the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you 
that pisses me off.

by Stephen King