My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,
the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.

While my wife and I were shopping at a mall kiosk, a shapely young
woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes followed.
Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife asked,
"Was it worth the trouble you're in?" 

In a classified ad: 

    "For rent: Six room hated apartment."