The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys."
I told my wife that I would be home by midnight...promise!
Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy.
At around 3 A.M., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as
I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and
cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another
9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick witty
solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.
The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told
her 12 o'clock.  She didn't seem disturbed at all.  Whew!  Got
away with that one!

She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock.  When I asked
her why she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times,
then said 'oh shit,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat,
cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then
farted.


Sent by Inna

Richard said he had a hat that says, "For sale- Ex Wife. Take 
over payments."

LONGEST TURD

The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a
'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially
measured at 12 ft 2 in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his
state.