Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
   world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that
   but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
   -- Mariah Carey

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
   -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances,
but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. 

     - Hugh Downs 

"O mysterious, wondrous and downright amazing Oracle:
 How come we never see baby pigeons?"
"You do, but you only see them before they go into their cocoons and grow
 wings. Baby pigeons are usually called 'squirrels'."
                        -- Generic Supplicant, The Internet Oracle

"[Do you hate people?]"
"Pretty much, I would have to say absolutely."
"[Why?]"
"Ignorance."
                        -- Random Interviewer, Maynard James Keenan (lead
                                singer of Tool)