If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every
   word you say, talk in your sleep.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably 
worth it.

Arnold's Addendum:
        Everything else causes cancer in rats."
                        -- fortune

"It's tupperware. Of course it exists. We only wish it didn't."
                        -- Kez Bartsch

"Do you know why God witheld the sense of humour from women?
That we may love you instead of laughing at you." 

              - Mrs Patrick Campbell British actress Said to a man (1940) "The Life of Mrs Pat" M.Peters