"I don't have the lungs to cope with sustained plot loss..."
                        -- Garth Kidd

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. 

"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that's how dogs spend their lives." 

     - Sue Murphy

When I was a kid, my favourite relative was Uncle Caveman. After
       school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in awhile he
       would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
       Uncle Caveman was a bear.

"Whip me! Beat me! Make me light and fluffy!"
                        -- Ben Salmon