A guy was attending a masquerade Halloween Ball, and 
dancing with a girl who was wearing a map of Texas for a 
costume. 

Suddenly she slapped him hard and stalked off the dance floor.
"What the hell happened?" asked a friend who had witnessed 
the entire event.

"I'm not really sure." the man replied, rubbing his red cheek. 
"When she asked if I had ever been to Texas, I put my finger on 
Amarillo to show her, and she let me have it."

   Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog on the lawn,
   licking his balls.
   
   One guy says to the other, " Man, I sure wish I could do that".
   
   The other guy says, " Don't you think you ought to pet him first?"
   

The FBI finally came back with the DNA results.

Clinton was a perfect match.
So was all of Arkansas. 

Tombstone Epitaph:
Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising

Three guys are discussing women.
"I like to watch a woman's tits best," the first guy says.
The second says "I like to look at a woman's ass."
He asks the third guy "What about you?".
"Me? I prefer to see the top of her head."