Jenn says her husband worked with this guy at the high school.
The guy wanted to measure the wall and he asked Mike (my
husband) for some assistance.  Mike said, "why not use the 
yardstick over there?"  The guy looked at Mike and, very serious,
said, "I can't use that.  The wall is longer than the yardstick."

I'm sure you've all watched Titanic and watched poor Jack 
Dawson sink to his watery grave, well when he was frozen and 
Rose pushed him under, my idiot ex-boyfriend yelled, "Jack 
Frost!!"  

Sent by Christine

A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few
         days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for
         robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to
         see him, and thus had him paged.  Police officers recognized
         his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse
         in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.