Famed Anthropologist Mary Leakey died at the age of 83.
Leakey was buried near her home, where she will rest in
peace, until some nosy anthropologist digs her up. 

- Norm MacDonald 

Texan prisons have banned convicts on death row from having
a last cigarette, on the grounds that it is bad for their
health. However, to compensate for this, condemned men will
instead be permitted to chew a stick of celery.

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED??

"Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don't have to work
anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your
bedroom."  (Judy, 8)

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a
wife!"  (Tom, 5)