English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law.
This is our idea of useless legislation.

After my recent breakup and the hell I went through, 
I quickly dropped a few pounds. Not quite Ally-McBeal- 
thin but close. I ran into a friend of mine who was surprised at 
the quick change and commented, "Damn, you've lost a lot of 
weight". My response to him,  "Yep, lost 220 pounds of fat 
German bastard".

A new study says spanking is bad for kids, however, experts are a bit 
suspicious of the findings - the study was written in crayon.