Klatt was telling me about growing up in NYC, working at a 
local fruitstand.  An elderly woman came up to the stand 
asking if we had any "dates".  My friend and working partner
told her that we didn't have any "dates".  She then asked if we
had "nuts".  My friend said, "Ma'am, if we had 'nuts' then we've
have 'dates'."

When his .38-calibre revolver failed to fire at its intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, robber James Elliot did 
something that can only inspire wonder: he peered down the barrel
and tried the trigger again. Happily for most concerned, this time it 
worked.

Homossassa, FL.
A man went into a hardware store to apply for a job. After completing his 
application he then went to the section of the store that sold guns. He 
asked to see a couple guns. The attendent left for a moment and the guy 
stole the guns. Not only was he video-taped, the police used the address 
on his application to go to his house and arrest him.