Following the initiatives of the Afghan Taliban
government - which has banned kite-flying, TV
watching and wearing white socks - Iran is also
cracking down on its more decadent citizens.
Ayatollah Mohammed Yadzi has decreed that dog
walking is to be made illegal, saying that
taking dogs out onto the streets was 'a public
insult', as it was a blind imitation of Westerners.

Some real headlines

"Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Times in 10 Years"
"Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One"
"War Dims Hope for Peace"
"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While"
"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"
"Deer Kill 17,000"
"Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"
"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"
"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
"Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge"

IDIOTS AT WORK

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the
clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the
credit card.  She informed me that she could not complete the
transaction unless the card was signed.  When I asked why, she
explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the
credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt.
So I signed the credit card in front of her.  She carefully
compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it, they matched.