I was recently in my local pub in Scotland, and it was pretty quiet.
There were several people sitting at the bar with me, and the bar-lady
was reading a paper.

She looked at me, puzzled, and said "John, you do crosswords, don't
you?"
"Yes," I replied, truthfully.
"I've got one here - 'Stranded, as on a desert island', 10 letters, and
the first is 'M'.  Any ideas?"
"Marooned," I said.
The other customers shouted out their orders: "A whusky," "a pint o'
heavy", etc, etc.

Delighted at this display of humour, I refused to pay for a drop.

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the 
animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is 
punishable by death.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.

We build bodies that last a lifetime.

Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month.
References required.