My wife, when I traveled away, 
               Made sly extramarital hay, 
                    And partied for hours 
                    With chosen endowers, 
               And often came back the next day. 

Mary had a little sheep,
And with the sheep she went to sleep,
The sheep turned out to be a ram,
Now Mary has a little lamb.

Said a dainty young whore named Miss Meggs,
"The men like to spread my two legs, 
Then slip in between, 
If you know what I mean, 
And leave me the white of their eggs." 

There was a young fellow from Sparta,
A really magnificent farter,
On the strength of one bean
He'd fart God Save The Queen,
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. 

There was a fat turkey named Sam,
Who gobbled whenever he ran.
He came out of the bush,
Presenting his tush,
And was shot up the arse by a man.