There was a young lad from Nahant
                            
                    Who was made like the Sensitive Plant.
                            When asked, "Do you fuck?"
                            He replied, "No such luck.
                            
                    I would if I could but I can't."
                            

The wife of young Richard of Limerick 
               Complained to her hesband, "My quim, Rick, 
                    Still grows in diameter 
                    Each time that you ram at her; 
               How can your poor tool stay so slim, Rick?" 

There was a young man of Natal 
Who was fucking a Hottentot gal. 
Said she, "You're a sluggard!" 
Said he, "You be buggered! 
I like to fuck slow, and I shall." 

Drink

I fell in love with a dry martini
But now she`s gone
And passed away...
Or rather, passed right through me.

After that, I drank some coffee
So momentarily
I found sobriety


She made me high
She gave me kicks
She made me ill
I was only six!

© 1989 Peter Hughes.

Sent by Pete Hughes

A man loved a gal named Bundy
Who came from the Bay of Fundy.
But to his despair,
She gave him the air
Sic transit gloria mundi.