Did you hear that Betty Crocker passed away.
The funeral is set at 4:50 for ten to fifteen minutes. 

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said:
"Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult
you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that
I had mentioned you in my will."

"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and
then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd
like to make a little change..." 

Q. What's the brown stuff between the elephants toes ?
A. Slow natives.

How to Hunt Elephants -- Comp Sci Style
 
Computer scientists hunt elephants using algorithm A:
 
1.  Go to Africa
2.  Start at the Cape of Good Hope
3.  Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the
    continent alternately East and West.
4.  During each traverse
        a.  Catch each animal seen
        b.  Compare each animal caught to a known elephant
        c.  Stop when a match is detected.
 
Experienced computer programmers modify Algorithm A by
placing a known elephant in Cairo to ensure that the
algorithm will terminate.
 
Sent by Alex

    A young Indian boy came back to the reservation for a
   family visit after his first year at college. When his dad asked him
   about his first year at school, he said: I'm having trouble with
   people making fun of me, especially my Indian name. How did you come
   to give your children such odd names"? His father said: "When your
   brother was born, I looked out the teepee and I saw an eagle flying so
   I named him Little Eagle and when your sister was born, I looked out
   the teepee and saw a deer grazing, so I named her spotted fawn. Why do
   you ask, Two Dogs F*cking"?