A college couple is under a tree on campus making out. After a 
while, the girl says, "I wish you had a flashlight." 

He says, "Why's that?" 

She says, "Because you've been eating grass for fifteen 
minutes."

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from
Kansas to Chicago. The son, who had been looking out the
window, turned to his mother and said, "If big dogs have
baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes
have baby planes?" The mother, who couldn't think of an
answer, told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy
asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big
cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess asked, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy said that she had. She then said, "Tell your mother
that Southwest always pulls out on time." 

A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field,
until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the
guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The guy said, "Yes, that's
my wife's seat. We have never missed a game since the Lombardi days, but
now my wife is dead." The fan offered his sympathy and said it was really
too bad he couldn't find some relative to give the ticket to so they could
enjoy the game together... "Oh no," the guy said, "they're all at the funeral." 

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying
DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a
harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.

He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware
of?"

"Yep, that's him," he replied.

The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like
a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"

"Because", the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept
tripping over him."

Did you know elephants have sex organs on their feet?



      They step on you and you're screwed

Sent by D.L.Chapin