In the beginning the Universe was created... This made a lot of people 
angry and was widely regarded as a bad move. 
     -- Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe 



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1 


When I was a kid, my favourite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school 
we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in awhile he would eat one 
of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear. 

-- Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe 



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2 


To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've 
wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went 
to the circus, and a clown killed my dad. 

-- Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe 



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3 


Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to 
calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the 
doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what 
I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side 
of its head with a note that says "You." After that, I usually 
feel a lot better, and no harm done 


-- Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe 



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4 


My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right



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5