Said a lesbian lady, "It's sad; Of all of the girls that I've had, None gave me the thrill Of real rapture until I learned how to be a tribade." Send this poem to a friend 1 There was a young girl named Dalrymple Whose sexual needs were so simple. She enjoyed the full spasm Of a perfect orgasm By frigging herself on a pimple. Send this poem to a friend 2 A prudish young damsel named Rose Is particular how men propose. To "Let's have intercourse," She says gaily, "Of course," But to "Let's fuck," she turns up her nose, Send this poem to a friend 3 On his honeymoon sailing the ocean A tightwad displayed much emotion When he learned, one fine day, He'd been fucking away What could have been bottled as lotion. Send this poem to a friend 4 There was an old maid in Van Nuys Who went crazy from making mud pies. She would fill them with farts And pickled beef-hearts, And bake them between her fierce thighs. Send this poem to a friend 5